Memories… Are you Ignorant?

Memories… Ahh…. This word has thousands of faces and it changes those faces just in a fraction of a second, it is just a matter of how you say it. Nowadays, for me, it has only two faces, Pain and ignorance. Well, you must have read and listened to a lot of stories about different memories of different people having different perspectives. I want to tell you exactly how it feels when you go through the pain and ignorance at the same time. Now, why is it painful for me? Somebody just got away from me, forever. Not dead but yeah…. Same old stories as everyone. Isn’t it? Happens with everyone, it’s okay, you will be alright, don’t worry, time will heal you apparently. Even these pieces of bits of advice are common these days. People stop giving weightage to the common stuff and even feelings. However, it is not that common for every one of us when we experience it in silence, where there is nobody around, even when you are surrounded by people, you can still listen to that silent pain from inside. But, what we choose instead, is IGNORANCE.
Some untouched pain from our memories became so common that instead of talking about it and overcoming it, we just simply put it on the shoulder of time and expect to have a better life with that mystery inside our heads. Unforgettable Memories? Is it the memories? Or is it the emotion attached to it? Or both? Obviously, both! What you see and how you interpret something becomes your perspective but how much you are experiencing it, is all together is a different story. However, you experience your job every day, you do the same work, you see the same faces but does it really impact you emotionally? Most of us would say, NO! Unless you are having some serious issues finding the middle-healthy ground. Now why is it happening?
Because it becomes the part of our life where we are not investing our emotional aspect, we are not questioning it because at the end of the day…. Oh no… I would rather say the End of the month, what matters is Money.
Now, this does not happen with the people. The more you experience someone’s company more it becomes your habit. Habits can be replaced but the feelings that we develop over the period are hard to replace. We humans cannot subtract anything from our lives, we either have different perspectives towards similar conditions with some addition of new beliefs or we just pretend to act differently as if we don’t care, but we do.
She is just a call away from me but yet far enough to fill that void that now she can never experience it with me. Obviously! You have to maintain your boundaries after marriage. Haven’t you? There was a time when I was habitual of picking up her call in the evening to confirm the time of the meeting, it was usually 7 in the evening. Now, I am habitual in writing and recalling the same. You see, habits are replaceable, but feelings… and I am pretending like I am fine, Am I? You know the answer by now.
That’s how ignorance plays with you and your reality. You become the puppet of the mass psychology where you started instilling yourself with some stupid clichéd sentences like “You deserve better”. Of course, you do, but what is the definition of that someone better? Stop fooling yourself around. The reality is that you cannot afford another wound in the same place. Instead, you need to take care of it and make sure of what you consume, I am not talking about the food I am talking about the beliefs because now that injured part of your life is sensitive, it needs attention, YOUR ATTENTION, NOT IGNORANCE.
Ufff… so many emotions clashes during this process. Well, in my case it began with the shock and I went into a complete state of denial. I was not ready for it. Nobody is! Nobody wants to… memories for me were not only about experiencing her company, it was also about creating my own in my imagination during nighttime. I had my entire world with her inside my head and that is how I used to greet sleep. Surprisingly, I still do nurture that world, huh… yes, we cannot subtract things from our lives but as I said earlier, we can have new perspectives and some addition of new beliefs. So, the world is still there but she is not. The world has now become a world of introspection. While writing this I am thinking what have I introspected after she is gone? Well, I tell you what most of you need. When you start to change your perspective towards any of the similar situations you have to go through multiple stages. Denial and aggression are the most crucial stages where you do not need to listen to every piece of advice because people do not understand what exactly you are going through. Therefore, every suggestion will sound like a solution but it is not. Always have a filter of your values in front of you. Never curse your past just because it did not have the desirable future you want, remember, you were not the only character in that story. Your interpretation of your past is the reflection of your perspective towards your present. No matter how hard it is, close your eyes, and take care of it, it is your memories after all!

Is it really you?

When we were young, our primary focus was on survival and gaining approval from adults. We paid little attention to the dangers around us, comforted by the presence of our families and the belief that they would protect us. It was akin to operating on autopilot. As we matured, we realized that there was much more to discover and not everything would work in our favor. The turning point in our lives was when we began making conscious decisions, grasping the concept of both rewards and punishments. This marked the shift towards considering the consequences of our actions. External factors shape our inner world and construct our reality. Our perspective is built upon the belief system that we develop over time. Although this may seem obvious, there are intricate processes at play that shape our lives and influence our experiences. Have you ever made decisions, perhaps numerous ones, without engaging your conscious mind? Undoubtedly, this happens often. Is it truly your decision? Or is it more accurate to say that your belief system is a product of influences from family, society, and other external factors? Reflect on this for a moment. Why do individuals become self-critical? It stems from irrational beliefs that do not align with our core values. However, our core beliefs are not purely self-constructed; they can be influenced by various factors. “I am worthless, I am bad” exemplifies self-judgment, while “I should be liked by everyone” reflects a must-based statement. Both types of affirmations are detrimental to mental and emotional well-being. It is crucial to examine the origins of these beliefs. Cognitive behavioral therapy suggests several questions to assess the rationality of beliefs:

• Where did the belief originate?
• Why do you hold this belief?
• How has it affected you?
• Is there evidence contradicting the belief?
• What alternative belief could you embrace?
• How can you create opportunities to nurture new beliefs?

Asking these questions provides clarity on whether to uphold or replace a belief. If you opt for a new belief, certain considerations should be taken into account.

Firstly, the chosen belief should be realistic. Embracing new beliefs does not entail adopting unrealistic notions beyond your control, as these could disrupt various aspects of your life.

Secondly, the belief should be flexible, allowing room for adaptation to unforeseen circumstances. Humans are adaptable, and so should their beliefs be.

Thirdly, it is important to seek balance. In a world marked by extremes of happiness and sorrow, a healthy equilibrium is hard to find. Therefore, the chosen belief should enable you to navigate life from a centered perspective.

Lastly, the belief should be sensible and ecologically sound.

The beliefs we currently hold have been developed over years, resulting in automatic, subconscious functioning. Identifying negative influences will lead to greater conscious awareness, fostering the practice of exploring new experiences. Give yourself time, as progress takes time. Identifying the flaws in the system is the first step towards consciousness. The brain needs to train itself to embrace new experiences. It does not comprehend right and wrong; sometimes, it is a matter of “faking it till you make it.”

Understanding Depression: A Self-Assessment Guide to Navigate Your Mental Health

There are a lot of things around the internet that people love to watch and discuss in a loop and that too without getting affected and bored. However, those things only revolve around your head for the shortest period and waste a lot of your time. There is something more that affects you unconsciously and slowly leads you towards depression and other serious mental disorders. Entertaining yourself to ignore your mental health is not a good idea. I am not against the entertainment industry, I am just concerned that most of us are using it in the wrong way. If you lying all day, watching stuff around, getting away from the activities that you used to enjoy, not being social and feeling sad for no reason then you are in the circle where you should be concerned about your mental health. Feeling depressed is not the only factor that you experience in this journey. There are multiple aspects involved in it. Like your personal life, social life, financial life and, your multiple abilities to do different tasks. Everything you like gets reduced over the period and most of us don’t even want to talk about it. There are multiple reasons behind it and the number one reason is the fear of being judged. We think that if we talk about our condition to seek help then people might get away from us because they might find us crazy. However, choosing the right person to talk to will take you out of this illusion. Talking freely about your mental condition will make things easy but before anything else, you need to accept your emotions, thoughts and everything you are experiencing. Acceptance is the first step of your happy healthy mind. Being aware of your emotions at times of discomfort reduces the level of anxiety and makes you distract from that unwanted mental state. Therefore, watching your emotions is more important than watching the stuff around the internet. Even if you want to get distracted then get distracted in the right way. Most of us never get out of it and develop the rigid belief of never coming out of it. This happens because we are only looking for the cure. However, let me tell you, we humans experience thousands of phases in our lives and it is fairly possible to experience love, hate and other emotions in different stages of our day, months, and years. Yes, you know that already then why are you looking for the cure? The thing you should be looking for is the management. You need to learn to manage your conditions because that is how you make your brain and mind practice things to stay calmer for the longest period. When you are mostly aware of your emotions and frame your thoughts consciously then the chances of feeling depressed get lower.

But the question is HOW? Let me give you a self-assessment from Cognitive behavioural therapy. You can use this when you are feeling discomfort and use it as a case study for future reference to understand the pattern in your behaviour.

Symptoms – Whatever discomfort you feel. 

Factor – the factor that gives birth to that unwanted feeling. This could be people, environment or any situation. 

Irrational Thoughts – Do you think that whatever you are feeling is appropriate? Ask this question to yourself and if the answer is yes then write it down and if the answer is no then write what are the other inappropriate thoughts inside your head that shouldn’t be there. 

Positive Thoughts – what is that one thought or any affirmation that can help you to stay calm and look at the situation more rationally? 

Balance thought – if you have to handle the situation then what is that one balance thought that can help you to prevent the extreme corner of negativity and help you stay in the happy middle ground? 

Mood – write down your mood precisely. 

Action– What action did you take after all this analysis? 

Date- This is important to understand the pattern of your behaviour, repetition and improvement in your behaviour.

You can watch this chart when you are calm to understand yourself better and to analyse your irrational behaviour, emotions and thoughts. 

Maintain balance and have an element of happiness in your life. Feeling sad is okay, but add new elements in your life from where you can seek happiness and peace. Do not just rely on one thing or one person because if you do that you will have high expectations and the chances of getting disappointed increase. Have hobbies, meet new people, introduce new activities to yourself, and go for a walk. My friend, BREATH! It’s not that complicated. 

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Demystifying the Deep: Peering into the Unconscious Mind

It’s the puppeteer pulling our strings, the hidden director scripting our every move. Our unconscious mind, a vast and enigmatic realm, lies beneath the surface of our conscious thoughts, whispering desires, influencing decisions, and coloring our perceptions in ways we barely comprehend. While Freud opened the door to this inner sanctum, the mysteries that lie within continue to intrigue and challenge us.

For centuries, philosophers and scientists have grappled with the nature of the unconscious. Is it a primordial swamp of instinctual urges, a repository of forgotten memories, or perhaps a wellspring of hidden creativity? The truth, as always, is likely a complex tapestry woven from these threads and more.

Dreams, those surreal nightly excursions, offer fleeting glimpses into the unconscious. Their bizarre symbolism, nonsensical narratives, and emotional intensity hint at hidden anxieties, desires, and conflicts swirling beneath the surface. By learning to analyze and interpret these subconscious messages, we can gain valuable insights into our emotional landscapes and hidden motivations.

Beyond dreams, our unconscious exerts its influence in countless ways. From the slip of the tongue that reveals a secret longing to the inexplicable gut feeling that guides us towards the right path, the unconscious whispers through our actions, choices, and even physical sensations. Recognizing these nudges and intuitions can empower us to make more authentic and fulfilling choices.

But the unconscious is not simply a benevolent guide. It can also harbor shadows – negative emotions, repressed traumas, and limiting beliefs that hold us back. When unacknowledged, these shadows can distort our perceptions, fuel anxieties, and sabotage our relationships and pursuits. Bringing these shadows to light through therapy, introspection, and self-awareness allows us to integrate them into our psyche and reclaim our emotional autonomy.

Exploring the unconscious can be a thrilling adventure, akin to delving into a hidden forest teeming with both beauty and danger. By approaching it with curiosity, courage, and respect, we can unlock its secrets, harness its power, and ultimately, become more complete versions of ourselves.

Remember, the journey into the unconscious is a deeply personal one. There are no quick fixes or universal truths. Each of us must find our own path through this inner wilderness, using whatever tools and approaches resonate most deeply with us. The rewards, however, are immeasurable – a deeper understanding of ourselves, a stronger connection to our intuition, and the freedom to live a life guided by authenticity and wholeness.

So, the next time you find yourself caught in a tangled web of emotions, pause, listen to the whispers of your unconscious, and embark on a journey of self-discovery. The treasures buried within are waiting to be unearthed.

Thought of the Day

Thought of the Day

Have you ever challenged your belief system?

It all starts with a thought, your thought becomes your feeling and your feelings become your actions. The human brain has its terminology to decipher things we experience. This chemical language is called neurotransmitters.  The connection between the neurons makes your experiences and decisions. A substantial connection will make your belief rigid, no matter how negative or positive it is. It depends on how much time you spend on any activity. Your belief system plays an important role in every aspect of your life. Especially, in your work and personal life. Whatever, system you have developed or the system that has been endorsed upon you will work either as an assisting tool or at times become the encumbrance to taking any further actions. Most of the time we listen to the devil on the shoulder and disregard being conscious of the decision. Because the devil will always show you the effortless path. However, whenever you are observant and aware of your actions, you comprehend the difference between the effortless and right path. There is a technique used in REBT (Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy) called the ABC model.

A – Action 

B – Belief 

C – Conclusion 

This model is created to challenge your erroneous belief system. Whenever you are stuck to make any decision, use this model. First, think of an action you think is just in your mind, then think of the associated belief attached to the action and lastly think of a conclusion that happened because of your belief system. For example, let us say you are afraid of dogs, and you believe that every time you come across any dog, it will bite, and because of this belief you never cross the street where you encounter such situations. 

Now, you can think of the action, the dogs, your belief – they will bite and the conclusion is to avoid. The only thing to challenge here is your belief system. What you are supposed to do is to question your belief system. Now, what are the questions you need to ask? 

Here are the four most important questions: 

1. Why?
2. Who Says?
3. According to whom?
4. How do they know they are right?

By challenging these preconceived hypotheses and beliefs you can understand what values you want to keep and what you can let go. We often live life like any other animal without being aware of the cause of our actions. This is because our lazy brains do not want to put extra energy into creating changes. The brain doesn’t understand the difference between right and wrong, it is you who creates the difference and that is why we all have different perceptions on the same thing. The other factors do matter but here we are picking up the belief system. Just by asking these challenging questions, you can be aware of your actions and can appear wiser when it comes to making any future decision. TRY IT! 

DO YOU REALLY KNOW YOURSELF?

Multiple personality disorder is no longer a disorder but has become a part of usual life. It is just we aren’t aware of the other personality we are living with. They say that we humans have free will but little that they know that free will is also hard-wired with the patterns that we as people want to get rid of. Patterns that have made us slaves of our own identity. An identity that has no drive values, an identity that only showcases the defense mechanism to prevent it from building its values. People usually talk about their inner voice, but do they know where exactly it is coming from? What is the cause behind it? I don’t think most of us ask this question ourselves. It is the dark side of your psyche and your personality that is telling you to change the path. Dark Side is the untouched part of our personality that plays an important role in driving our behavior and intentions. Have you ever thought of choosing your career to become the president of the country? Most of us will say a big fat NO. Nevertheless, at some point in time, we have thought of changes we could have made if we were in the same position. Similarly, there are many things about our personality we aren’t aware of. We think we know ourselves but that’s the biggest illusion we are in because we humans have the filter of our experiences and moral values given by society and family. This filter works like the blindfold that prevents us from seeing the world as it is. Moreover, it is the devil that keeps us busy looking out for external approval that ensures our existence in society. This filter won’t allow us to look inside and make changes in our patterns that make us upset and disappointed all the time. Now, let us look at the cause behind it, the prime focus of the human brain is to keep us alive, or in the words you can say survival. It takes a lot of energy to make a single pattern and once it has been created it is gonna take a lot of effort to rearrange it. These patterns are our habits and the way we think of ourselves and the outer world. This could be negative or positive but the brain doesn’t understand it and it will put all its efforts into protecting it from any changes. That’s why we humans have a hard time changing or adapting to any habits. The same goes for our thought patterns, what we experience is what we think, or vice versa. The possible solution for this part of humans is the conscious effort to look out for patterns without having a defense mechanism in front. I am not saying that the defense mechanism should be eradicated from human life, it is important when it comes to survival. However, when it comes to the conscious decision, one should not use a primitive brain because that can cause self-damage. Therefore, whenever it comes to deciding as modern homo sapiens always use the power that we humans have is CONSCIOUSNESS. Use it without any learned pattern and kick aside the thought of several biases that we include while making a decision. You can change any pattern just by being conscious of it. TRY IT!